
Remembering my mom is always a hard one for me. We took the kids to the cemetery and of course took flowers to my moms grave. But every year as we walk up to the head stone. I start to get teary eyed and can't talk. The kids put the flowers by the head stone and we stand there and then we leave. This year I wanted to get a picture of her grandkids that she never met here on earth, but I know that she took good care of them when she had them. I know that she loves them and wishes to hold them again in her arms. They don't know alot about her cause I have a hard time talking about her. (like now I am crying and haven't really said anything) She left this world at a time in my life when I needed her the most. I have had to go through life on my own and figure things out with out the help of a mother. I wish everyday that she was here. There are so many things that would be diffrent and the relationships I have had would have been stronger than they are now. I feel for those of you that have lost a loved one. It is not easy and the pain never goes away. I try to push it as far back in my head as it will go, so that I don't have to think about it. But at random times it all comes rushing back and I am like a little child wanting her mom to hold her in her arms just one more time. It has been 17 years since she lost her battle with cancer. I am just grateful for the time that I did have with her. I know that she would have been proud of me and how I have raised her grand kids. We will love and miss her always.